July 15 Chris

Monday:  I've been struggling the last few weeks with a sadness that I can't really explain. You could call it "depression", and I suppose you would be right. But more than that, it's just an unsettled feeling and a higher anxiety level than I usually have (probably from watching/listening/focusing too much on the "news" instead of on things that are "true and honorable and right ... things that are pure and lovely and admirable ... things that are excellent and worthy of praise" as found in Philippians 4.8)  I am very guilty of being a political "addict." It's just that I find it so interesting (politics) and so compelling to discover just what is TRUE anymore. Anyway, that's all to say that I have been d-o-w-n more than usual. 

Pastor Jim's teaching this past Sunday was about the truth of the resurrection--that Jesus is truly and completely ALIVE, remaining a human/divine being for eternity. He challenged us to think it through: what if what the Bible says about Jesus being alive is ... a fraud? What if we have been deceived about this all of our lives? And then he went on to very logically and convincingly argue exactly what is proclaimed all throughout Scripture--it's TRUE--Christ is RISEN from the dead! In closing, pastor challenged us to ask the Lord Jesus to reveal Himself in new ways to us this week--show us He is with us--speak to our hearts personally.

I came home from church (and then lunch with Ruthanne and Terry) and had a really severe headache. However, I told my friend (Brenda) that I would come to the open house she was having for her daughter from 2:00-4:00 Sunday afternoon. I'm glad I did go even with not feeling well. It was so good to see Brenda again and give her a hug and get an update on all that has been happening in her family.

I was home again by 4:00, took some pain medication and lay down and then slept for hours. I woke up not feeling much better, so I just rested for the remainder of the evening--hoping Monday morning I would feel "better." 

I didn't! I cancelled my PT appointment and decided to continue to lay low. I just felt completely exhausted without one single bit of motivation or any energy whatsoever to do anything under the sun. I really hate feeling that way. I hate wasting time and accomplishing nothing in 24 hours. It makes me feel very old and useless.

And then ... out of the blue ... totally random ... I received a text from my grandson Chris. "Hey can I stop by if you're not busy." I wrote back: "Sure! When would you like to do that?" "Some time soon possibly" was the answer I received.

And soon afterward, Chris drove up to my house! He stayed for almost two hours and we just talked. I can't explain to you what a GIFT it was to see him, to spend actual time with him, to have a real conversation about real things with this person who means a great deal to me. He is my oldest grandson. He will be 21 in just a few months. He caught me up on all his news!

Chris will be in his junior year at Olivet University this fall. He received a football scholarship to Olivet as a freshman and will be playing the position of defensive lineman this fall (second string). He has worked super hard to achieve this. He works out 4-5x per week and was "under orders" to gain weight and bulk up. He now weighs 205 pounds, which is largely muscle. Chris speaks highly of the football organization at Olivet and has met a lot of good people through it. He has lots of friends on the team. Chris is a "people" person, which is a positive quality. He returns to college August 13 for football training and preparation for the season ahead. He has the possibility of becoming an RA (Resident Assistant/Advisor) in one of the dormitories or apartment complexes at the college--which would be a profitable thing for him, earning him some tuition relief. During these summer weeks he has worked two part-time jobs: one at Walgreen's over on Leonard (a rather rough location), and the other doing lawn care (on-call).

Chris and Ella have been dating for four years (almost) and are talking about engagement rings now. They go to "City Church" in Rockford pretty regularly. City Church is a Bible believing church that solidly teaches the Gospel. I'm so happy they are worshiping with a community of believers.

SO ... this spontaneous out-of-the-blue visit from Chris today was truly a GIFT from the Lord to my heart. Chris said he would try to stop in again before returning to Olivet. I would love that. 

Thank you, Lord, for seeing my sadness and for providing encouragement for me today. My heart is no longer overwhelmed with sadness. I feel stronger and more hopeful, and acutely aware that You did this today because I needed it. My sadness matters to Him. My life and struggles are important to the Lord. Thank you so much.