January 17 Hard stuff

Saturday & Sunday:  Sometimes darkness can hide His face ... sometimes sadness can overwhelm us. Left unchecked, deep wounds can fester inside of us and turn into poison. My heart ached, felt like it was openly bleeding, this weekend with Emma. These are difficult days in her life and I cannot make them "better", make them "go away," or erase them for her. She doesn't expect that from me, either. But I ask you, Lord, to take her for me and work Your ways into her life. By Your own Spirit, speak to her heart words of hope, comfort, and peace. Please show her Your way--whatever that might look like--as long as it is what You want for her.

I was getting ready to flip the page on my desk calendar (with beautiful calligraphy artwork--a Scripture passage for each day of the year--gifted to me by my friend Christine nearly 10 years ago) to January 18, but I hadn't even read this page: January 17. 

It's not like I don't "know" this passage ... but today ... it was exactly, PRECISELY, what I needed to hear from God. There are times in my life where grief goes so deep ... loss of relationships ... missing years and years and years of a son's life ... thoughts triggered by Emma's struggles that take me back to a long ago time ... 

So I wrote out these verses and thought about them long and hard. I must LIVE in His shelter. He will give me REST in HIS shadow (see how close He is? Look at the shadow of my pencil!), the shadow of the ALMIGHTY.

He ALONE is my refuge, my place of SAFETY.

Have you ever just wanted to be in a safe place? To be somewhere safe with somebody good? That's actually a title of one of Jan Karon's books, one of my very favorites of hers. There is a quote she prefaces the book with:

"Oh, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person: having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them out. Just as they are--chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away."  // Dinah Maria (Mulock) Craik [1826-1887]

Yes!

I have a few friends that fit that quote--and I am super thankful for all of them. 

But more than that, God alone is MY refuge and my place of safety. The Psalm goes on to say WHY exactly that is! 

Because ... "He is MY God, and I am trusting him. For He will rescue you from every trap and protect you from the fatal plague. He will shield you with His wings. He will shelter you with His feathers." 

TRUST Him. I must! I love these words: 

Shelter. Rest. Refuge. Safety. Trust. Protect. Shield.

The Psalm ends with this:  "His faithful promises are your armor and protection." 

Truth. 

Thank you, Lord, for loving my family--every single one of them: Jesse, Shane, Dylan, Kelly, Emma, Chris, Matt, Kaity, Brendan, Aidan, Erin and Callaghan. I will trust You for them and find REST.