June 27 A much better day

Tuesday:  A week has gone by since I had these little ones, and I have to confess that it's been a tough week for me. I searched my heart, and cried a LOT of tears. I found that I was dreading today with every-thing in me, which made me terribly sad. I did a LOT of praying, asking the Lord to show me WHY I was so sad, depressed and anxious. I believe He did answer those prayers, so that at least by Monday afternoon I could identify what "triggered" these last days of depression and a feeling of hopelessness. It has given me a more urgent reason to pray for Dylan and Kelly in these difficult days of raising children.

I mentioned in my last Tuesday post that I'd had a "bad" incident with the kiddos while in the car. Too much screaming from Cal and too much provocation from Aidan, and subsequent noncompliance--I became overwhelmed and lost my temper. Yes, I did LOSE my temper. I didn't hit the kids or anything; but I was SO exasperated with them, and I was definitely NOT nice. All week I felt like such a failure, like I ought to have my grandma license revoked for the duration ...

I am thankful that "Christ's strength is made perfect in weakness." He has asked me to run to Him when I am troubled. He is faithful to forgive my lack of self-control and my over-anger. I didn't struggle with being overwhelmed with these guys' care until school was out and suddenly there were FOUR of them talking at me at once, needing my undivided attention, demanding what it was they wanted at any given moment. All through the school year when I only had Erin and Cal over at my house--it was exhausting, but NOT emotionally or mentally--just physically. Last Tuesday, I felt like an absolute nut-job and I couldn't forgive myself! That was the issue, along with a terror that I would repeat my bad behavior today! Lose it all over again!

I am happy to report that today went much more smoothly. I was on my guard (against myself!) and did small things to alleviate my emotional anxiety. First of all, I just dealt with one thing at a time instead of trying to do 2 or 3 things at once. Also, Jesse had given me a pair of headphones to use for my piano--the little kids loved wearing them while they were playing my piano, so that cut down on the noise level. Plus, I was super careful with what directives I gave to the children. You see, once an adult gives a "command" to a child, that adult needs to follow through and make sure the child has done what they've been asked to do. I kept it simple and was careful who I asked to do what.

I met Jen at the older 3's art class. She had Cal with her, and then the kiddos were finished with their class at 11:30. Look at their INCREDIBLE ART!!!

Their teacher is having them learn about INSECTS this week while they render their drawings. Today they were studying BUTTERFLIES. Tomorrow, they are going to study DRAGON FLIES! How cool is that?!

I love these drawings SO MUCH! Aren't children the BEST artists? Aidan explained to me that it was important to have a caterpillar in his picture because ... "how else could you have a butterfly, grandma?"

We drove to my house from their art class, about a 20 minute drive, with me praying the entire time that I would be able to handle the ruckus that comes with strapping three children in a crowded back seat, and listening to Brendan talk to me in the front seat while the littles are talking to me from the back seat, all the way home. We made it without incident. Thank you so much, Lord.

Erin and Aidan took turns with the headset. They loved having the volume as loud as they wanted (for a change) and were glad they weren't bothering anyone by playing! I feel the same way when I wear the headphones!

Flashlights are always a treat. Thankfully I have an ample supply of various lights to share. They get such a bang out of using them all over the house. It's midday here, so it was a trick getting the rooms dark enough, but we did everything possible to accomplish that, so it was an enjoyable time.

Look how grown up Brendan is becoming! My heart aches every time I SEE this ... the years have gone by so quickly. He was my "Little Fellow" for so long and I loved him with everything I had! The Lord blessed my life so much through his little heart. I am still blessed by him--by his gentleness and sensitivity.

These kiddos read books by flashlight for the longest time ... 

We drove back to their house at about 4:00 in the afternoon. Young Cal fell asleep in the car about five minutes after we were on the road. I was truly thankful for this because he gets extra grumpy in the late afternoon and really needs to sleep it off. I rewarded Erin and Aidan: If they could put up with Cal's verbal grumpiness until he fell asleep, they could have the carton of books to enjoy for the remainder of the ride to their house. They did great! Once Cal was sleeping, I handed them the book crate and they read all the way home. Aidan is an excellent reader! Brendan has been an excellent reader since a young age too. Erin will do the same as her brothers. Wonderful!

Thanks so much, Lord, for being STRONG for me today, helping me to be a better caretaker and more mentally healthy.

June 24 Kaity

Saturday:  Kaity and I had a "normal" Saturday schedule today. I picked her up from Jesse at 3:00, not knowing exactly what we would do together--however, I was ready for almost anything. Kaity said she really badly wanted to go swimming. Who could blame her?!? It was nearing 90 degrees when I picked her up. We decided, though, against swimming today--many factors figured into that decision.

We were on the way to my house when Kaity suggested we stop by AJ's for for go-cart fun. I was a bit dismayed since I didn't have my camera with me--but I always have my phone to use for pictures (even though I am terrible at using the camera on my phone).  We pulled into a parking lot a little beyond AJ's, I checked my wallet and found enough money to cover THREE separate tickets for the go-carts. I decided against driving all the way to my house to retrieve my camera, we turned around and drove back to AJ's. 

Here is Kaity at the wheel:

The first car she drove was #4 and it was very fast! I watched her carefully--she is a very good driver, curving in and out of "traffic" with ease.

Her second car (I believe it was #3) was S-L-O-W ... it just didn't have any get-up-and-go to it whatsoever; so that was a little bit disappointing.

Kaity's third car was super FAST! She was very pleased about this and passed everyone on the course. She was flying! The advertisements pictured on this car was from WCSG. We'll have to remember that for future outings at AJs.

After we were finished at AJs, we came over to my house. Kaity was still a bit tired from her week at camp, so she rested a bit and I cooked some dinner for us. Kaity likes the chicken and rice I make, so I got busy making that.

Interestingly, I found out during the cooking process that my oven WILL NOT HEAT. It is 36 years old, so I am not surprised. With the oven not heating, I had to do the chicken and rice a little differently; but Kaity ate it up and didn't seem to mind one bit.

While I was preparing our meal, I had Kaity experiment with the tracks and car I recently purchased but ended up NOT liking. I wanted to see how Kaity played with it and if it was as frustrating to her as it was to me. It was! I have concluded that this was a BAD purchase (especially since I bought TWO of them so as to have more track). It was described as a kid-friendly, easy-to-use, great for imaginations TOY. But when Dylan's little kiddos played with it Tuesday, it was quite the opposite! It was not easy to assemble the track, the car ZOOMS terribly fast, and it held their interest for perhaps 20 minutes. They were too little to change the track around or to control the car, etc. Kaity found the same exact problems--and she is almost ELEVEN. I think I will put the whole thing away for a rainy day ...

I was thankful for the interesting conversations Kaity and I had during our meal tonight. She told me things she had never told me before, about some of her struggles, and I was glad to hear her honesty--made me feel like I got to know her better and see a part of her I had never seen before. I love you so much, Kaity-girl. Lord, please help Kaity with these hurtful things that are in her heart. Help her know how deeply You care about her. Please, Lord, give Kaity eyes to see You and heart that receives Your love for her.

June 23 Pick-up from Camp

Friday Afternoon:  So it seems everybody was a tiny bit confused as to which day of the week Kaity was finished with her camp week. For some reason, some of us thought it was SATURDAY; but it turned out to be FRIDAY. Since Jesse already had a work commitment, I picked our Kaity-Girl up out at Camp Greenwood. I was happy to do so!

When I arrived at the camp, Kaity showed me all around--I had so much fun sharing in her joy.

The building in the background (picture below) is the camp office, where administrative stuff happens. This is where we went to "check" Kaity out of camp. Once we did that, we were free to roam around. Kaity is playing in the dirt of a "game" they play with a ball, keeping it above their heads--if the ball falls in your square--it's a point against you--something like that.

Here is Kaity at the camp playground in the "new" swing this year.

Here is Kenzie too! These two friends got to be cabin mates for the week, both in upper bunks, right next to each other.

This is the "chapel" where singing, drama, and Bible verses were taught.

Here is Kaity demonstrating some motions to the songs she learned ...

I love Kaity's enthusiasm for the songs she learned, the new friends she met, the camp counselors ... I love to see her so healthy and happy.

Back to the playground ...

Here is Kaity working on a "boondoggle" ... she is very good at this. I remember making these when I was a kid at summer parks & recreation at my elementary school.

This building is the "mess hall" where they ate their meals ...

This is the little lake where they swam every day. Kaity was able to pass her swimming requirements and was allowed to go out to the blue raft to swim and jump off, etc. Kenzie was able to do that this year too.

This was the cabin Kaity and Kenzie stayed in ...

And this little clearing was where the campfires took place.

I was so glad to be able to SEE this. Now when Kaity talks about Camp Greenwood, I can actually picture it, even though I wasn't a camper! The camp is out in Gowen, about 15 minutes further than our favorite park, Deer Tracks Junction. 

 

June 23 A beautiful 2-mile walk

Friday morning:  After I dropped Erin off at her dance class, I drove over to Meijer Gardens to take my morning walk. I usually just walk around the "park" where I know it is safe, etc. But I was going to be driving RIGHT BY Meijer Gardens--so I figured it would be a much prettier walk there! 

This is such a gorgeous place--in each and every season!

These first few pictures were taken in the newer "Perimeter Gardens", a perennial garden, beautifully landscaped, that will grow prettier every year.

Many of these flowers are completely UNKNOWN to me--never have seen them before in my life! Aren't they amazing? Isn't God AWESOME in His creation?

This blossom reminds me of a stunning firework--I LOVE it!

The sculpture that is in the center of the Perimeter Garden.

I was actually more interested in walking back on the boardwalk and seeing if any swans and cygnets were about ...

I only saw ONE swan, at a distance, and my zoom doesn't really allow for a good picture of an object that far away. This lovely bird was closer--but I still didn't do a good enough job capturing it. I'm struggling with what it is called--but I looked it up and found that it is a Great Egret.

There was another woman out on the boardwalk with a very impressive lens on her camera. She was watching this egret and waiting so patiently for just the right shot. When I quietly walked away and then looked back, the egret had spread its gorgeous wings and flown to a place closer to where she was. I bet she got some good pictures as it flew.

I truly love the detail the Lord put into what He designed. Endless varieties, shapes, colors, textures ... I love it so much.

After the boardwalk, I ventured into the Japanese Garden for a little stroll ...

I walked TWO miles this morning. Yes! What a pleasant walk. I tried to remember to give thanks as I admired the beauty ... PRAISE and hallelujah to the Lord ... there is none like Him, and no one can be compared to Him in all of eternity. I surely pray that Jesus will return soon to set up His kingdom, which will never end.