Saturday Night/Sunday: We took Kaity back to Diana by about 8:00 and then came back to the Beach House for the night. We usually hang out for awhile. I had some picking up to do around here, and Emma was doing some business on her phone. We finally settled down to a few episodes of "Once Upon a Time" ... which is sometimes depressing, if I am honest! It's an interesting series, for sure--and I'm not sure who has written the storyline, but it takes twists and turns that I would never dream of.
We went to bed around 11:30 after talking for a little while together. I sensed that Emma was really struggling with "stuff" ... so I listened (and quietly prayed) while she talked. My heart surely goes out to her in this terrible year we have all lived through--but compounded so many times over for Emma in her particular situation. My heart ached so much as she talked through some of the things she thinks about--the challenges she faces on a daily basis.
I didn't sleep well afterwards, but that is okay. It spurred me on to pray, to beg the Lord for some relieve for Emma, for real healing of her heart and mind.
We worshiped at Calvary Sunday morning. One of the intern pastors spoke from Revelation 8.1: "When he opened the seventh seal, there was SILENCE in heaven for about half an hour." Marc's entire sermon was on the silence of God, the significance in our lives when we cannot hear Him or see Him ... when we have cried out and not received an answer or rescue. There was much more than that to what he taught, and all of it was good to be reminded about and to think through.
After church, we ate a good lunch and while I was cleaning up Emma fell asleep on the couch. She has been really tired lately, so I just let her sleep. I had planned to bake a special Christmas cookie recipe with her today, had all of the ingredients out a room temperature, etc. Hmm. What should I do? I decided to just go ahead and mix the dough together and start baking. This particular cookie recipe is one of my Grandma Mary's -- Russian Tea Cakes -- and Grandma's recipe is the best I have ever tasted. Emma did finally wake up enough to help me roll some of the baked cookies in powdered sugar, so that was just fine. It isn't like I needed Emma's help to bake cookies--it was just something I thought she might enjoy doing together.
It was apparent to me this weekend that I need to pray more specifically for Emma. I think in my own life, when I look back to the painful stuff (especially in my childhood) the only way I have received any "healing" from those scars is from His wounds. That may sound weird, but it truly isn't. Isaiah 53 talks about the suffering Jesus went through and it says this: "Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows . . . he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." Those enormous losses Emma has experienced that have hurt her so deeply, I'm asking Jesus to take those to His own heart and give her His peace deep inside her. Please use all of this for her good, Lord--and for Your glory.
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