August 23 Sweet memories

Monday:  I need to write this post, mainly for myself. It's a tribute (of sorts) for an old friend of mine.

Last Friday night, I received a private message (through Facebook) from my dear friend, Laurie. She said she had sad news and went on to tell me that our mutual friend from high school, Doug, had died on August 18. She said she had no further details except for the funeral home information. Laurie and I texted each other back and forth Friday evening for a little while, devastated by the news.

Here's the deal ... I went to a high school with a pretty large population of kids. I was one of 745+ students in my senior class. There were so many of us that our graduation ceremony had to be held downtown at Cobo Hall arena. I didn't have many close friends in high school--most of my intimate friends were from my local church. But I had TWO friends that I felt close to--the first being my good friend, my best friend, Laurie (since the sixth grade!), and the other was Doug. Laurie introduced us our sophomore year, our first year at Cousino. Doug had not gone to the same junior high school that Laurie and I went to. He had gone to Hartsig, and we went to Melby. Anyway, we met our sophomore year and actually had Geometry class together that year. I'm pretty sure it was a sixth hour class. Geometry and I didn't get along very well! Without Doug's help, I'm not sure I would have achieved my final B+ grade in that class. I also remember listening to Tiger baseball during that class! It was the World Series (1968) and we had snuck our transistor radios into class with earplugs. It was SUCH a great World Series that year! I remember shouting out loud (lots of kids did!) when the Tigers would score.

Also, that same year is the year Doug's dad died. His mom and dad had taken a special trip to California (perhaps a business trip) and while there, Doug's dad suffered a heart attack and dropped over dead at the very young age of 43 (I think). Doug was 15 at the time. His mom was stuck out in California and had to work through getting his dad's body transported to Michigan, etc. It was a really sad time in their lives. I remember sending a sympathy card to them (this was BEFORE I designed cards) and I wrote a note inside the card with this verse: "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all of our trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." I remember it clearly because I wasn't sure HOW to comfort them or even if they were believers in Jesus. Doug had been close to his dad and it was so sad to me that he was now without his father.

Doug and I were also in the same Senior English class. Our teacher was Lawrence Czajka (pronounced: Chi-ka) and he was bent on having Doug and I be a "couple" to the point where he assigned us to read out loud a love poem--I still remember it to this day, "Song to Celia" (Ben Jonson). Shall I quote it?

"Drink to me only with thine eyes, and I will pledge with mine; or leave a kiss but in the cup and I'll not look for wine."

WHY that has stayed with me for so long, I don't even know! I remember how our classmates teased us and I felt my face get SO HOT. The truth was, I did have a major crush on Doug at the time. We often walked the halls together laughing about this and that. He was a very funny person--kind, though, and nice. I loved our friendship.

We graduated from high school. I packed up and moved to Grand Rapids to attend what was then Baptist College (fall of 1971). Doug and Laurie went to Michigan State (and both received degrees from there). The two years that I attended college, I only saw Doug a couple of times--and Laurie, not much more than that. Our lives just spun in different directions. I got engaged to be married in the summer of 1973 only to break it off 5 weeks before the wedding. Laurie got married to her Bill during the summer of 1974. I was privileged to be IN her wedding. I wasn't dating anyone at the time, was still brokenhearted from the break-up of my engagement ... and Doug was at the wedding. I knew that he was seriously dating a girl from State (Jill)--so I knew he was "taken" and was careful NOT to flirt.

Being raised a Baptist, I was forbidden to dance and so I had never danced! At Laurie's reception, I was rather "hiding out" in a corner when the dancing began because I was a little scared someone might ask me to dance and THEN WHAT WOULD HAPPEN?!?!?! I would most certainly trip over his feet and make a complete scene. But then I saw Doug crossing the dance floor, coming my way. He reached out his hand--I hesitated and managed to squeak out that I had never danced--but then he whispered that he would help me and ... we danced. I will not lie and tell you that it was "magical," because it wasn't. I was as stiff as a board. But I remember him being so kind. And I remember liking very much being in his arms. That was all. The dance ended and that was that. 

Here is a picture taken from that day at Laurie's wedding. I'm not sure what provoked us both to stick out our tongues:

The very last time I ever saw Doug on this earth was the day I married Jim: May 24, 1975. Laurie (and her husband, Bill) and Doug (and his fiance' Jill) came together to see me get married. I was dressed in that UGLY wedding gown (my mother picked it out) and Jim (poor man) had not tried on his tuxedo prior to the wedding and the pant legs were SO SHORT ... he looked like a hick. Somewhere I have a picture of Laurie and Bill, Doug and Jill, sitting with me in the basement of Calvary Baptist Church at my very Baptist wedding reception. We were chatting and laughing and doing a little bit of reminiscing I think. 

Laurie and I have kept better in touch over the years, and she informed me soon after Doug and Jill were married, that Jill was a believer and that Doug had also come to faith. Happiest news ever. It turns out that they had two children together--a son and a daughter--and have six grandchildren.

I had always hoped I would see Doug once again while on this earth but ... no. It will be in glory. Perhaps we will sit and laugh together for awhile then.

When I got the message Friday night about Doug's death, I wanted to find out what had happened. Laurie didn't have any details at that time. I got on Facebook and eventually found Doug's son, Kurt. This was how Kurt announced Doug's death:

"It’s with a broken heart that I wanted to share that my Dad, my hero, unexpectedly went to be with his savior, Jesus, on August the 18th.

We are just devastated by his passing but are so thankful for all the memories, deep relationships, and love we were have had our whole lives with Dad.

I don’t think a father could love a son more or a son love his father more than Dad and I did. I spent every day of my 33 years here being able to hear his voice, laugh, wisdom and encouragement and it is impossible to think of the years ahead without having that in my life.

There won’t ever be a day the rest of my life that I won’t think of him and miss him.

My heart breaks for Emma and Jack Jack who won’t get to know their poppa as well as I had always dreamed- but we are going to do our best to show them everything he taught us.

I am so happy we have the hope we are going to see him again with Jesus."

What a beautiful tribute. It made me super happy, yet terribly sad, to read these wonderful words. How many fathers could have this said about them? Not many that I know! I've been praying for Jill and for their children and grands all weekend.

Today was Doug's funeral, which took place at their church in Troy. I heard that it was well attended and that he was a faithful and well-loved member of that congregation. Laurie later messaged me and said that evidently, Doug had collapsed at his dentistry office, was rushed to the hospital and died the next day--apparently from the same heart condition that took his father.

Here is a memorial picture:

I briefly considered driving to the funeral this morning; but there is so much going on in my life right now--besides the fact that it has been 46 years since I last saw Doug. I've met Jill, but I don't know her or Doug's family at all. It really wouldn't have been appropriate for me to attend the funeral. I had hoped maybe the service would be "streamed" so that I could attend virtually, but it was not. 

My heart is sad, but this old world is not our home! Thank you, Lord, that You are making a place for us to be with You forever. So ... I will see you in heaven, my friend.